Although many of us claim very civilised, I still feel very uncomfortable to come to terms with some matters of real romance. One of such is kissing.
Okay, as a mature person or let me just say as a married person, how often do you kiss your partner? As a matter of fact, dear husbands, when last did you kiss your wives before doing the do? Even some of you who are now eager to answer this question, how sweet do you go about it? Do you feel your woman looks forward to playing host to those lips of yours. In short, how kissable are you? Wait a minute, is kissing unAfrican? Why then do most Nigerian men pay little or no attention to this aspect of romance? As far as many of them are concerned, kissing is for younger couples and bla bla bla. So, they simply overlook it and quickly move to the ‘real’ business.
But kissing is a ridiculous amount of fun, and is fully deserving of your attention and effort. It’s also super important to intimacy, foreplay, and attraction in general.
You must also know that you don’t have to kiss each other just because you want to make love. It is a way of expressing love; a way of getting real intimate.
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From my observations and other gatherings from regular ‘girls’ talk, most Nigerian men in actual fact don’t know how to kiss. Many just dip their tongues into their patners’ mouth and transfer saliva. Others simply settle for sucking their partner’s tongues while the poor girl struggles to salvage her tongue from being pulled out. Isn’t that funny? Yeah, it may be, but it happens.
Please folks, enough is enough. Even if this is not part of our culture, we can imbibe it for the very fun of it. Here are some steps to better your kissing game henceforth.
Take Your Time
Like I said, men need to learn to slow down their act when it comes to love making. The best way to enjoy kissing is to go slow and ease your way into every kiss. If you’re feeling anxious about your kissing abilities, that anxiety is likely spurring you into rushing your way through it. But no one likes kissing someone who is hyperactive and all over the place. Kissing is supposed to be relaxing and sensual! So, when next you are going on this trip, make it nice and slow until you feel yourself start to settle down and get into the groove. Start from one side of the lip to the other. Make it dry too because when you involve too much of your saliva, it gets irritating. Don’t also make too much of sound, it puts some people off. Taking your time makes it cool and very romantic.
Do not apply too much pressure
One of the most basic ways that people mess up kissing is by going to extremes with the amount of pressure they apply. Some people are way too forceful with their kisses, so, they end up bumping teeth, pushing their partner backwards, or coming off as aggressive. Other people are shy and timid, and their kisses end up very cold and lifeless. Just as one feels strange when someone squeezes your hand way too tightly in the process of handshake, you have to be careful with the amount of pressure employed when kissing your partner. It spoils the whole purpose.
Use your tongue right
Using too much of tongue is honestly a pointer to bad kissing. When you first start kissing someone, keep the tongue out of it until things start to heat up. Pay more attention to the different ways you can kiss with just your lips — keeping your mouth closed, opening it slightly, intertwining your lips with your partners’, pouting your lips, and so on.
When it is time to add some tongue, be gentle. Your tongue is an incredibly strong muscle, so you need to be careful not to go overboard. Try just gently touching your tongue to your partner’s at first. Imagine that your tongues are softly caressing each other. Don’t jab at your partner with your tongue, and don’t put too much of your tongue into their mouth. Just gentle caresses.
You can also play away with different ways of moving your tongue across your skin. I know it will feel silly to “practise” on your hand, but it really is an easy way to get a sense of how things feel!
Involve your entire body
The best kisses involve your entire bodies, not just your lips! I mean your hands. Make good use of your hands, your arms. Wrap your arms around your partner’s body, or stroke their arms, shoulders, and back with your hands. Press your body up against theirs. Hold their face in your hands, or run your hands through their hair. You can also take little breaks from their lips to kiss their necks or ears. Use your body to create some variety. Hold his head, girl, his jaw to draw his lips closer and take charge.
Tease your partner
Employing teasing technique makes kissing a great deal of fun.
You can do this by taking your time to break away from a kiss and looking your partner in the eye, with a sly smile on your face.
Pull your lips away and gently stroke their lower lip with your thumb.
Keep your slightly-open mouth close to theirs and breathe in and out together.
Brush your lips against your partner’s, without actually kissing them. This way, you are sensitising him or her a great deal.
Create a style
You can come up with your own peculiar style of kissing. When you’re kissing someone, pay attention to what your partner is doing and what they seem to respond to best.
Are they moving their tongue very slowly? Do they let out a little moan each time you bite their lower lip? Try to merge your routine to theirs. If you’re unsure of what your partner likes, ask him or her “kiss me how you like to be kissed,” then follow their lead. That way, you’ll learn exactly what they like.
Starting with a dry kiss from the lower lip to the upper, then to the sides, will really make the session one to remember for a long time.
Evaluate each session
This will open your eyes to areas where you need to adjust and where you are doing well.
Folks, believe me, if you can’t kiss properly or make your partner look forward to kissing you, it will be hard for you to do anything well. There are some foods you won’t know how to eat, words you may not know how to say. But with the right kissing, you will be expressing yourself well and making the best impression. If you are one of those who think kissing is a waste of time, then you are still archaic, not romantic and still living in the stone age. Kissing is fun, it makes you feel youthful. Stop denying yourself or your spouse the treasure. Imbibe these tips and let’s have your testimonies.
