“The first time George made love to me, it was in his car, after an evening of great fun at our usual club. We had been seeing each other for some months before then and we had quite become very fond of each other. He had this great body and he sure knew how to flaunt it around.
Unlike other men who would have done anything to get in between the legs of a hot and pretty babe like me, I discovered that George was a bit withdrawn. He could touch, kiss and do all the caressing stuff but he would refrain from going into the real “do” even when we were alone.
Though I seemed to be cool with him especially for his generosity, somehow within me, I was anxious to know what he was like in bed. Although it wasn’t pre-planned, the fateful day, however, finally came.
I guess the alcohol we drank took the better part of us such that we lost our guard and tore at each other like some famished people, right inside his car. Painfully, it ended in tears. The experience was far from what I expected. My guy came down all on my thigh before he could even get through. He went limp afterwards and we both quickly got up, drove home to get ourselves cleaned up.
Well, I didn’t see it as an issue cause I readily blamed it on our situation that day.
But when after I had slept over at his place, a couple of times, the same thing happened, I sensed a problem. The feeling became worse when I discovered that he could hardly look at me in the eyes after each messy episode. But I love him and wouldn’t want anything to separate us though I really do not know how I can cope with a sexually weak man.”
That was the story of a young lady and her lover.
Of all sexual dysfunctions that men can have, premature ejaculation, PE, is the most dreaded. It does not only ridicule the man by rubbishing his ego in the presence of his woman, but it is also a major issue that can destroy any relationship because no woman takes delight in having her sexual desires unmet.
PE makes a man less the hero he wishes to be described as and constantly turns a woman into an Oliver who keeps asking for more.
So, now, at what point can a man be said to be having this issue?
According to a medical expert, Dr. Kemi Anifowose, premature ejaculation occurs when a man attains an orgasm or “climax” sooner than wanted.
Also called rapid ejaculation, Dr. Anifowose said it is evident in a man who reaches orgasm before intercourse or less than a minute after the action starts.
“If you’re climaxing sooner than you and your partner would like, sex will definitely not be satisfying for either of you. In other words, an exercise that should bring fun will become frustrating and even embarrassing which can eventually harm the relationship,” she said.
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Since experts say about 30 to 40 per cent of men experience this, at some time in their love life and they overcome it, no one needs to live with it.
Below are some tips that couples in this situation should observe to put the challenge behind them:
Have a Preaction
We all know that every first round of love-making usually ends faster than the subsequent ones. So, one sure way to last long is to engage in a pre-session of the exercise where you would have discharged the first rush in your bank off, thereby saving more time to stay longer on the real game. This is ideal when your woman is staying the night.
If otherwise, you will have to come up with a plan that can aid this method. Remember the “refractory process” that all men go through after every first round of intercourse? It is every man’s way of reloading his bank for another round after the regular quick first.
This is one method you should try because it may actually work in your favour. If you can find a way to offload first before going into the real action, you will be shocked at your performance.
Squeeze the Boys
Although this is an old method experts said it has been proven to be effective. Basically, it entails squeezing the penis in the area between the shaft and the glans just before ejaculation. The idea is to put a hold on orgasm, delay the ejaculatory process and get your attention back on what you are doing.
Get a Cock Ring
For men without this kind of challenge, there may not be any need for this. But if you think you can’t help your situation with other tips suggested, hey, you may need external aid to help you last longer in bed. This comes in the form of a cock ring. Experts say they can help extend erections by restricting the flow of blood out to the penis.
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They can also be worn around your, balls. According to a Physiologist, Mr Andy Tife, “Most men have an idea of when they are close to ejaculation, the testes will begin to rise up closer to the body just before reaching orgasm. If they will gently pull the testes back down or wear a cock ring that does the same, they can sometimes delay the orgasm from happening for a bit longer,” he says.
Slow it Down
As far as most therapists are concerned, good sex is a marathon, not a sprint. Unknown to many guys, going fast during intercourse, brings no pleasure as much as having it slow would. “Going slowly in love-making can be more sensuous, intimate, and pleasurable, and may make it easier to keep an impending orgasm in check,” says Sex Therapist, Doris Blair.
So instead of your hasty approach, go slowly to be able to save more time in bed. Since it’s not one of those race where the first to arrive destination gets a medal, you actually must slow it down. In this particular race, the longer it takes you to sweetly paddle the canoe to its destination, the better your medal. So, take heed.
Switch to New Positions
Going about love-making the same way will not help you out of this situation. Trying new methods will, however, do as this will engage your mind into wanting to know or learn something new. This state of mind will swiftly cause the distraction you need to sustain you more in a round.
In other words, if you must last longer, you might need to disrupt the tempo. The more unfamiliar the method is, the better,” says the expert. This is so because it is very hard for the body to orgasm in a position that it hasn’t orgasmed in before.
Meaning if you usually climax lying down, it might take you a longer time to reach orgasm while standing up or in another position. This is due to the way the body is wired and the route it has been used to. Changing positions or styles can be a great way to keep the fun going while giving your body time to switch focuses. It behoves on you to check for more sex positions that will help you last longer in bed.
Master the Edging Limit
Every man has a varied stimulating strength. The earlier you discover your own by yourself, the better. On your own, try and engage your body to find out the area that gets you to a point of no return and ensure ways to have control over it. In other words, it means you should know what turns you on and the area that can get you uncontrollable.
Take your time to know this and learn how to slow down yourself to save more time in the act. If you try to work on yourself before bringing it into the bedroom with your partner, you probably would have discovered a way around your issue. Just focus on the physical and sexual changes that lead you to climax, master it and get on top of it,” says Anifowose.
According to her, patience is a virtue that you need here as a man. If you will be patient to put yourself through this process, the fun you will derive at the end of your next session will beat your imagination.
Be Distracted
This may sound funny but it can work. Just as pregnant women are always instructed during child labour, to engage their mind in something for a second to be distracted from the pains they are passing through, if a man will arrange a distraction for himself at this time, he will delay his orgasm and will last longer than he used to before coming.
Mind you, the distraction must be away from all sexual thoughts that can cause any sensation in your system. For instance, once you are getting that discharge urge, think of a foul smell coming from something spoilt, your dirty socks or sweaty shoes, funny or weird movies or something you plan to do after a while.
Whatever thing that gets you distracted at a time when an orgasm is approaching will help delay it. Tough as this might have been if it has worked for those women in labour, trust me, it will do some wonders for you too.
