‘My husband said, rape me back’
I never knew I would have women respond to the above topic; that was why there was a fresh discussion last week. And since it won’t be fair to listen to one gender and not do same to the other, after publishing some responses of men on this subject, I decided to showcase the responses of some women, who were bold enough to make out time to share their minds on the issue.
As a way of reminder, the subject briefly was on how men force their women into love making. While it is an act that should take place on a mutual ground between couples, findings are that most men have forced their way through their women at one time or another, turning the act into a rape instance since it was done with force and without the consent of the woman.
Whatever the reasons given for such action, relationship experts are of the opinion that much as there is no such law that supports charging a man to court for forcing his wife to ‘sleep’ with him, and because the man has a right over the woman, especially since he has paid her dowry, it is still not right for a man to forcefully have sex with his wife. Without over-flogging the matter, below are the responses of some women on the issue.
My husband said, rape me back
I am a reserved woman where love-making is concerned. My husband knows this and, according to him, it was one of the reasons he married me. Now, he wants me to change overnight, how possible? He wants it like five times in a week and he is impatient to even get me in the mood. When I plead with him, even when I was breastfeeding, he would not take it for an excuse; he would just have his way, turn me around at times before I could say anything. It is not fair and when I accused him of raping me, he simply asks me to do the same, pay me back in my own coin, and rape me too. This is bad. Men need to stop being selfish. Christiana
My husband sees it as his birthright and it’s annoying
The mistake that most men especially my own husband makes is that he thinks sleeping with me is his birthright. But love making is a thing that we both should agree on. If I tell him that I am not in the mood, the common statement that comes from his mouth is usually, “do I need to write an application letter to you before I sleep with my own wife? Have I not paid for it?
These words are annoying to me and most of the time, it puts me off. Am I some kind of property that he bought? It’s a turn off really. As long as he sees me as a partner in this act, he needs to make me feel so. If he does not, well he has said it many times that he does not enjoy it if I am not ready. So, it is his choice. Lady D
It’s most crude and selfish
Dear Yemisi, I love this write-up very well and I must tell you that it is the truth, it happens. My husband is as guilty as charged. Most times, I am usually tired because I work on the Island and I live in Mowe area. How am I supposed to yield to his request that comes almost every other day? He doesn’t want to understand this. If he feigns angry today and sleeps, the following morning, he is asking, I mean it makes me feel something is wrong with him. Is sex food?
Can we not do something else apart from this? We have been married for 18 years and his quest for sex is as if he is still very youthful. If he will consider the fact that I am no longer young and I pass through a lot of stress daily, maybe, he will have his way more with me. And then, he withdraws into his shell when he doesn’t get to have his ways. This, at the end of the day turns me off sex the more. It is selfish to want to sleep with your woman at all cost. It is bad and when you now employ force, it is disgusting. Gbelewade (Mrs)
My husband isn’t responsible, yet his libido remains high
My husband is one man that is very stubborn. He doesn’t give a damn about the changes I asked him to make even on himself. His beards still appear unkempt; he finds it difficult to wear body spray and will not bathe before going to bed. All these put me off, yet, he wants to have sex with me almost every other day. How possible is that?
He does not pay the children’s school fees, I have had to change their schools two times, I keep going to their schools to beg because we cannot pay, yet his libido remains high. No way! If he can fix all of these, maybe, things will become better. Forcing me to sleep with him has strained our relationship and on such instances, he has regretted it. I also crave for love-making, but it should be a mutual thing. Mary
Make me a full-time housewife and it is a deal
I am a nurse and work on the Island. We live in Ofada area, so, I spend more days at work than at home. I come home only on my off days. My husband does not even have access to my body everyday. On days that I am around, I am always tired. He understands this but there have been days that he forced his ways through, which left me with the feeling that I have been used. It is not good. If he wants to be enjoying sex on a daily basis or more regularly, he needs to keep me at home, make me a full-time housewife and cater for everyone at home. Halimat.
