If I don’t rape my wife, who should I rape?
Dear Yemisi, I read your column every time and I must tell you that they are quite educative. But I am not comfortable with your last topic of discussion. I can’t understand how anyone will accuse me of raping my own wife. Are you saying the woman I married legally should deny me of my entitlement when I demand for it? Why should she when the Bible clearly says she should not? Do I deny her of this? I can never come to terms with this. For God’s sake, if I don’t rape my wife, who should I rape; another person’s woman?
Chris, Ipaja, Lagos
My wife doesn’t resist only when she wants to conceive
Dear Madam, you don’t know how much I respect and treasure you, as you handle this issue. I have been married for 10 years and I can count the number of times that my wife willingly agreed to my gentle demand of my right? All other times, I have had to force her, cajole her and buy her gifts to soften her down to this.
Do you know that it is only when she wanted to conceive that she did not resist my advances? Okay, so, what am I supposed to do? Go after another man’s wife, prostitutes or divorce her when the Bible is against this and it is not as if she is sleeping around? I simply carry my cross. When we were dating, she was like this. I’m sure she won’t ever complain, otherwise, I have decided that I will also deny her when she is ready for the third child.
Azubuike, Ogba
Why didn’t she shout for help?
Good day, madam. I have consistently read your write-ups for some time now and I must say that they are quite interesting. But how would you say men are raping their wives? This is not possible. I must tell you that any man, who does that must have been pushed to the wall. For me, if I make sure that I sleep with my wife when I have the urge, that does not mean that I rape her.
See, most women are used to complaining of one pain in one place or another. So, if you want to wait for the day they will not have any ailment, you will be wasting your time. My wife has never complained or accused me of raping her all these years and she always resisted me at the initial stage. After a while, she will begin to respond, meaning she is enjoying it. Why did she not push me off or shout for help? Thank you.
Latunde, Berger.
It is rough play, not rape
It is you people that call it rape and I just keep wondering. Honestly, you people are the one teaching these women many things they do not know. How will you say I rape my wife? Okay, why will my wife say she is not ready for me when I say I want it? Is this thing not part of the agreement? And did I tear her cloth or wound her? It is rough play, not this thing you call rape and most women like it. You know maybe they think if they say they are ready when you ask them, they are bad, I don’t know.
Joseph.
I have the solution; I’ll marry second wife
Most of these women are always resisting us. My wife is never ready when I am ready, so, what do you want me to do, madam? I do not have money but if you can give me money, I do not mind because I have the solution; I will marry another wife. My grandfather once told me that the main reason they had more wives in those days was because of this.
And that a man does not have to beg his wife for sex if he has more than one. They will always be ready for him since they know there are alternatives. He even said they always struggled to win his attention by cooking special dishes, struggling to clean his room, put powder on their necks in the evenings, etc.
So, he did not have to beg anyone; instead it is the other way round. I think we, men should work harder and forget about all this one man, one wife thing and marry more wives. Until we are able to marry more than one or women change their attitude, we may not have another option but to force them.
Anonymous
My wife has also raped me before
Dear Yemisi, Well done and I wish you all the best in your organisation. I love this topic, but I need to let you also know that this thing is not about men raping their wives only. I want to believe that it is not all the time that men also want to make love. There are times they do not want and the woman wants it. This has happened to me once and against my wish, my woman had her way.
She ensured that she did all to turn me on and did it while I lay down. Was that not rape? At least, it was against my wish. So, I ask you, should women rape their husbands?
Anonymous