I’m happy more women are coming out to talk about domestic violence – Nollywood lead actress, Joke Silva

Known for her lively zeal and passion for the creative industry; veteran actress, Ajoke Silva, is sure a leading example to most filmmakers that consistency and doggedness are major ways to success. From the early1990s when she kicked off her career in film making, Joke Silva has featured in countless movies, which include stage performances. Most interesting is the blissful marriage union of this amazing woman and her husband, Olu Jacobs, that has endured since 1985.  In this chat with MUTIAT LAWORE, the beautiful actress spoke on sustaining marriage, how it all started and growing up, among other issues.

You are one of the celebrities whose marriages have worked and are still working. Unfortunately, we get to hear too many stories of broken homes. Does that not bother you?

It doesn’t, not particularly. I think sometimes in this society we tend to say to the individuals who have stayed in the marriage, “Oh, you must stay in the marriage no matter what he does to you.” You must have heard stories of some women, who after staying with their husbands throughout the times of difficulty and all, when the husbands died, you heard them speak of how bad they feel, they’re so bitter because it seems as if they have wasted their life and this is something that the younger generation doesn’t want to go through.

With that being said, I think also that there is a little need for both sides to see each other as human beings. There is a tendency for us to have the cult of a man, our boys are raised from when they’re babies, and they’re saying “ehh! Wo! O ma sawonbirin leshe” (he will deal with these women) (claps)… So, when a man all of a sudden, you now say that this man should become responsible,  he should be able to take a leadership position, where he is expected to be a servant leader, how is that possible?  He was never brought up to be a servant leader. He was brought up to be the king of kings and lord of lords! (Claps…).

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So, there is a need for a shift in our mindset. It’s difficult but it’s something we have to do and that is why we are seeing what we’re seeing. That is why the marriages are not making it. The women are like, “excuse me, I’ve gone to school, I do my share in this house” you know?

Let me give you an example; I remember I had a brief conversation with someone where I said “Oh! WOW! Your house is beautiful. Ah! Well done to you and your wife.” He said: “What did she contribute? It was me. I built it.” And I said, “Sweetie, the fact that she wasn’t asking you for the money and she was making sure it was possible for you to build the house, if she did not give you a dime towards the house, her support to you, building the house is her share in the house.”

Do you understand? But you know, they weren’t built up to think like that. So, you find that a lot of mothers will say: When you are building your house, if it’s only the roof, if it’s only a few tiles you can buy, you should buy it so that you’ll have a claim of the house.”

What are your thoughts on domestic violence? These days, more women are eager to come out and talk about their abuse in marriage.

I think I am very happy more women are coming out to talk about it. It is important that their partners give themselves space. Once the violence starts, give yourself some space! I think it is the most spirit-destroying action one can put a lover through. And it doesn’t only happen to women. It happens to men as well. I think it is sad that any relationship gets to that point where you need to break the spirit.

At the time you were growing up, there were certain professions that were considered noble like Medicine, Accounting and the likes. Did that not bother your parents when you chose this career?

Well, I think what bothered them was whether I would make a living out of this profession I wanted to go into. That was the main concern. They knew the talent was there, they nurtured the talent, they encouraged the talent, but I think the idea was to encourage the talent to be a hobby (laugh). You know, my mother played a piano and it was her hobby. It was even by accident I discovered she knew how to play the piano.

She learnt while growing up… You know, it was something like that for them when it was also what I wanted to do. That’s why they gave me the gap here. It was to see how stressful the industry could be, how uncertain it could be in the sense that you don’t always have work all the time. Unfortunately for them, in my gap here, I was working right from the beginning to the end. Sometimes, I had like three jobs at the same time. So, I was working so often and they saw that I liked it; so, they supported me.

While growing, were there circumstances that made you make a detour from acting?

After getting married and having two children, work had dried up. I got married in 1985 and my second child was born in 1998. There was very little work and I was bored. So, I went back to the university. I did my drama with the drama school then but went to the University of Lagos to study English. It was while I was in the university that I now did some more work under Fani-Kayode – Mind Bending – but there was one time work dried up and I found myself teaching so many students in private schools. I taught in Abbey Schools, I taught in Green Wood House, I taught in Atlantic Hall and a lot of my students are now in the industry.

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Was acting something you knew you would end up doing while growing up?

I knew from about the age of 10 and my parents supported me from about that time on … (laughs). At the schools that I attended after my A-Levels, I prayed and asked God for confirmation and when He said yes, I spoke to my father and he said take a gap: between A-Levels and this industry you want to work in and see whether it is really what you want. And at that time, I’m talking of the late 70’s and early 80’s.

To have a doctor mother and a lawyer father, who were both at the top of their professions, saying their child should take a gap here, you know, it wasn’t common in our time but they allowed me to do that. When they found out that this was what I wanted to do and it was what I enjoyed doing, they said, “well, go to drama school”.

 You have surely paid your dues in the industry and still very much relevant; some scholars are of the opinion that there is a parallel line that exists between stage actors and screen actors, what’s your view on this?

I am a part of “Heart Beat -The Musical”, which is a stage performance. Now, there are techniques for the stage actors and the screen actors. The techniques are different but there is a point where they converge and that is the understanding, analysing and understanding your character! They converge there in understanding the script and the role of your character being the world of the play, and accepting the reality of the world in the play of your script. Where they diverge, is the energy, the energy as in projection, not just in voice but in the entire personality.

On stage, you have to project everything – your voice, your personality, your gesture, everything is projected. But on screen, even if it’s a big screen, the bigger the screen, the smaller your projection has to be (laughs) because if you go all big as you go on stage because you’re going on a big screen, you will look at yourself and go wawu.!

Which do you find more comfortable?

I love both; I understood the techniques of both. Once I understood; I didn’t understand the techniques for a while in the early years so I used to feel much more comfortable on stage but once I got an understanding of the screen, it was easy.

How do you feel whenever a project brings you and your husband together?

It’s usually fun and exciting. At the same time, we put professionalism in what we do. Take for instance, if we are to play the role of a couple in a movie set, we do it according to dictates of the script and leave every other thing behind. After the set, we come back as family but on set, we are who we are, ‘actors’.

You have stayed on top of your game for over four decades. Do you see yourself retiring soon?

I am very lucky to belong to an industry that doesn’t recognise retirement. There are so many actors in the West, who say they are retired but still find their way back into the profession. Ours is an industry that allows for longevity and I have taken advantage of it.