I didn’t allow my family’s wrongdoings to define or defeat me -Christine Umoekereka nurse, author

Excerpts:
 
Tell us about your experience working as a nurse in Canada?
 
My experience as a nurse has made me realise that I derive happiness from caring for the well-being of others. My job is to alleviate pain and suffering and I am often an advocate for my patients. My job is also about upholding ethical values and morals and doing no harm.
Seeing the issues and the challenges, we face as a nation, I believe these experiences I have obtained through my job, have led me into writing this book. In addition, my job experiences influenced the creation of my Foundation, known as Early Intervention Health Foundation (registered in Nigeria in 2015).
The reason I believe strongly in caring for others and reducing their pains is because I have been abroad for over 30 years and have adopted their values. This country treats its citizens with fairness and respect, unlike Nigeria. Canada is not perfect, but the difference between the two countries are rooted in undeniable evidences.
 
Your advice for Nigerian immigrants to Canada?
 
I will suggest to anyone, thinking of relocating to Canada to first of all wash their dirty linen in Nigeria before they relocate. This is because integrity and patriotism are the uttermost principles, which this country (Canada) is built. Therefore, acting in such a way that the country is upheld is the only way you can ever thrive and fit into the Canadian culture.
There is no godfather or favouritism in Canada. There are no trees in Canada that grow Canadian dollars. You are not coming to pick up money from the trees or treasuries. Furthermore, plan to be hardworking, focused and with the right mentality and determination to make something good out of living in Canada. Come with the aim to benefit the country that gave you an opportunity, rather than with the aim to dubiously exploit the country because of their lenient system. Be prepared to love the country and have respect for the country.
 

What inspired you to write, ‘Our Collective Contribution to the Decadence in Nigeria’?

Let us consider first the subtitle of the book, How did we lose our ethical, moral, and cultural values that are presently causing the entire nation pain, suffering, underdevelopment and pauperisation?
Isn’t it disheartening to even think about what is going on in Nigeria right now?
 
“Former registrar of the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board, Dibu Ojerinde, wants an out-of-court settlement in N5 billion fraud.”
Things like this are what inspired me and there are many more. This is just one out of the many examples of what is going on in Nigeria today.
There is zero accountability for inventions, development and growth. If we do not stop our selfish interest, greed, and fraud in all areas of national life, we will collectively sink into the holes we have dug for ourselves.
To Mr. President Muhammadu Buhari, this is where accountability comes into play. We, Nigerians, are demanding justice and we want Ojerinde to be brought to justice and be severely punished as a deterrent to others. We need the judiciary with a moral compass, never obstructing the true application of the law without consideration on expediency.
 
Why did you leave Nigeria? And what were the cultural shocks you experienced?

 
I left Nigeria because I was destined to live my life abroad. Ironically, I was born and raised in Nigeria, but I never really fitted into the culture. I was never understood and I was always judged. My family found me different, which was highly challenging for them.
When a Nigerian child does something wrong and the parents ask him if he had done it, the child must lie and say no, as a respect to the parents. The child that is honest and says yes, will be beaten or severely punished for being honest and the parents find it very disrespectful. I was that child. They found me rebellious because of my honest and outspoken character. I was always honest and did what I thought was best for me. I chose me first. I chose what would make me happy rather than what they thought was the best for me, because I knew it would not make me happy.
However, it was an integral part of our culture that you must obey and conform to whatever your family wants for you. My late mother had a nickname for me, she called me, “Oyinbo dudu,” meaning a “black white.”
This outspoken character was something we don’t usually see in Nigerian children. Nigerian children are brought up not to question the status quo but to obey and conform to our parents or elderly’s wishes, and to only do “as I say.”
The children that conform to their parents were termed obedient children, a good child showered with praises or rewards. The ones that do not are rejected and severely punished with huge negative consequences.
Unfortunately, that was the case with me. I was punished unjustly throughout my upbringing. I grew up lacking love and acceptance. It was so severe that I attempted suicide three times. The first time, I was aged 12. I was found unconscious, rushed to the hospital and revived to life at Lagos University Teaching Hospital by Dr. (Mrs) Agbalajobi a friend to my family.
 
Please share some of the challenges you encountered abroad?
 
When I chose to leave to go pursue my career abroad, my family were against me. They were against me, so critically enough that when I was already in United Kingdom, my family wrote a letter via my late uncle living in United Kingdom to the immigration authorities not to allow me to stay in the country. They wrote something contrary to my behaviour in order to make me appear as a deviant so that the UK will not grant me a permission to stay in the country.
In addition, when I got unconditional admission to a Nursing School in 1992, my family influenced my high school principal and wrote an unpleasant reference letter about me. They wanted my admission to be denied so that I could return to Nigeria to live the life they planned for me and for my future.
In summary, my family did everything they could to make me uncomfortable in the UK and to make sure I return to Nigeria. My family chose to destroy me rather than support me.
It is the will of God and His favour that I am living in Canada today. This was destined to be my life. It was meant to be.
Due to all these objections from my parents and the letters of character assassination they wrote to the UK which were not factual about me, despite my successes, and I had lived with good character and completed a diploma in United Kingdom. No criminal records were credited to me as a residential social worker who worked with the local government authority and bought my first house in 1994 in Enfield. In spite of all of these, I was deported in the middle of my nursing career from the UK in 1998 to Nigeria because of the sordid conspiracies and machinations by my family.
Tearfully, l sold my house. With the money I acquired from selling the house, I relocated to USA where I had the opportunity to continue studying nursing.
Frantic efforts were made by me to achieve my dreams. Why exactly did l leave Nigeria? Was it for greener pastures? The answer is No.
The basic motivation for my migration was to acquire freedom, run away from emotional and physical abuses from my family, to acquire education and to live in a country free from abusive parents who subjected me as a child to gruesome physical and emotional traumas.
My family had the notion that I will fail, and when I did not fail, they did everything to make me fail to prove their points.
However, up to date, I have not failed. I have not done anything since I left Nigeria more than 32 years ago other than being a patriotic immigrant and being committed to my career.
Yes, I got speeding and red lights tickets, that’s all about it, but other than that, my record is clean in the UK, USA and in Canada. I have worked through all honest channels and positively contributed to these countries economically.
 
Any hiccups for you at this time?
 
Apart from my family challenges, there were other challenges that I went through, such as financial. I had lived at my lowest in a house full of rats and cockroaches in New York because that was all I could afford. At a time in 2002, I couldn’t afford a $1 chicken nugget for my daughter at McDonald’s restaurant and she cried and rolled on the floor refusing to go home with me.
Things were very rough financially, but a friend who turned into my sister that I loved dearly guaranteed me a loan taken from the bank for me to complete my nursing training. In addition, I was given a 100 per cent scholarship by my university, which also covered my books.
When God turned away the captivity of Zion, they were like them that dreamed. Today, I can afford to buy and open up my own McDonald’s franchise if I choose. Today, the United Kingdom Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, through his Chief Correspondence Officer, wrote to congratulate me on my book, “The collective contribution to the decadence in Nigeria.”
 
 
Your story strikes a chord; it is deeply touching. What lessons could be learnt from it?

 
I did not allow my family’s wrongdoings define or defeat me. From the time I became an adult, I took full control of my life and lived it to the fullest. Similarly, Nigerians youths and adults do not allow what is going on in Nigeria now to define you. I did not allow all these challenges to lead me into wrong doings. I lived around people that were handling illegal dealings when I was at my lowest, yet that did not influence me to join in any illicitly. I did not engaged in it because I saw it as wrong and wished to uphold my moral values to date. To all Nigerian children and youths committing illicit acts because of what is going on Nigeria today, there is no excuse for such acts. You have choices, you can choose the right path if you want. Going in the right path is the only way that will save you and leave you justified in the society in the end.
Imagine if I had gone down the wrong path, I wouldn’t be where I am today. It’s a long way to get where I am, but it is worth waiting for. I have an education and professional skills that no one can take away from me. I am a role model for my three children and siblings today.