In the last edition, we took time to explain what it means to be over-parenting and how 90 percent of today’s parents are guilty.
Like some studies say, these are parents, who are within an arm’s radius from their children at all times. They are the type, who rush to comfort their child at the first sign of frustration or disappointment. They often prevent the child from trying new things.
These parents typically have one child with them (mainly because it’s tougher to overparent when you have two, running in separate directions or just don’t have the time to be). But the real truth is that there should not be reason for any hassles because that kid will just be fine. If you are still one of those parents, who find it hard to let their kids grow independently, the following consequences, which studies considered devastating will further convince you to stop.
1. Overdependence on parents
Helicopter parenting increases dependence in children and leads to diminished decision-making ability and coping skills.
By solving all their children’s problems and making all their important decisions for them, helicopter parents are actually compromising their child’s autonomy and personal growth.
Instead of learning to cope with conflict and failure, children are learning to be dependent on their parents to help them. Constant interference in a child’s physical, emotional, and intellectual space takes away from the development of their ability to think for themselves.
2. Low self-esteem
Many children of helicopter parents struggle with low self-esteem and fear of failure.
When children are unable to develop their own problem-solving abilities, they’re less confident in their abilities, which can lead to low levels of self-esteem. When children are sheltered from experiencing failure, the fear of failure and disappointing others can become increasingly intense and stressful.
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Feeling of Insecurity
Children of helicopter parents are more likely to have higher levels of depression and anxiety .
Children with more intrusive parents are more likely to be highly self-critical and develop perfectionism. This, combined with constantly worrying about disappointing others, can be detrimental to a child’s well-being and lead to higher levels of depression, anxiety, and even suicide in some very serious cases.
Challenge of unemployment
Students with helicopter parents have a harder time finding employment after graduation .
The uncertainty of future job prospects, and overblown expectations of success, is leading many students back home after graduation. Students haven’t learned to deal with obstacles on their own and have been told they can do anything they want. So, when the “perfect job” doesn’t present itself immediately, students with helicopter parents are more likely to move back home where they feel more secure and comfortable.
I’m sure that helicopter parents have good intentions. And I am fully aware that not every parent, who hovers over their child at the park is guilty of overparenting . But when parents do become overly intrusive in every aspect of their child’s life, they’re robbing their child of coping skills that will directly affect their quality of life.
Children should be given a safe environment to learn. An important part of learning includes making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. Children develop the best coping skills when they deal with those obstacles, failures, and consequences themselves.
The best thing that parents can do is educate, support, and empower children to make the best decisions for themselves . And that means letting our kids learn through trial and error, as tough as that can be.
Plus, they’re less likely to move back in with you that way.
