Funmi Akinsanya-Alake’s new book, Adversity to Adventure: How to Connect the Dots When the Unexpected Happens, draws copiously from her experience as a Transition and Accountability Coach and her experience of the vicissitudes of life. In this interview with The Nigerian Xpress, Akinsanya-Alake, who lives in the UK and runs a thriving business, Shabach Events and Coaching explains her drive to help as many women as possible to regain their lives after a setback.
Why is the focus of your book and profession on women?
I am a woman, so my allegiance is to the woman’s cause. An African proverb says, “If you educate a man, you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation”. Truly so. A woman Is a multiplier by nature. When a woman is educated (not just formal), she, in turn, educates her family, who then educates the nation. And you know that when a nation is educated, the economy is built. As strong as women are, there are still a lot of areas where we are relegated to second-class status, violated, and discriminated against. This ought not to be so. There must be equal participation of both men and women in areas that matter and the voices of women should count more. That is my drive. As a certified coaching practitioner, I carved a niche as a transition and accountability coach, helping women who have had setbacks in their journey of life, go through the process of moving on from being stuck to getting back on track. It can be particularly difficult for women, especially those who have had a considerable measure of success in the past and are now going through a period of adversity, to pick up themselves and start again. I have walked in that path, started all over again, and now better for it.
What impact have you made so far in your commitment to advocacy for women?
I am actively involved in my community in the UK. I am a member of the planning committee for the women empowerment events, particularly during the annual International Women’s Day. I also speak at various women’s events, fundraisers and award ceremonies. For some of these women events, I helped facilitate and also anchor them.
From your experience, how traumatic could a setback be?
Losing a job is one of life’s major setbacks. Its impact can be devastating in many ways. In my case, I didn’t begin to feel the effect until I applied for hundreds of roles, and still, after a year, nothing was forthcoming. I obviously could not afford to meet my regular needs nor pay my bills and found myself having to consolidate my debts. At a point, I began to lose my confidence and self-esteem and most times would withdraw into myself. As a Christian, I held on to the promises in the word of God and leveraged on the relationship with other believers around me. Having no income for a woman can leave you feeling vulnerable. If you are married, the prayer is that you have a supportive husband to at least help ease some of the burdens. For a single woman, there is a tendency to want to do anything at any cost to make ends meet.
How can a young woman avoid the kind of setback you just described?
We are in an era where there is so much awareness about having multiple streams of income. A lot of women are embracing this ideal and becoming serial entrepreneurs. There are no guarantees in life and setbacks are inevitable, so the more multifaceted one is, the easier it will be to overcome any adversity. Young women need to begin to harness the gifts in them early to have something to fall back on when their corporate careers fail them, should they choose to go that route. Even as a career woman, always ensure to update your skills regularly.
How did you become an entrepreneur?
I have always loved to plan and manage events because I love when things are well organized. I started to help organize events at my local church and was then invited to anchor a former pastor’s 50th birthday celebrations several years back. I then began to anchor other social events, community events, concerts, and host exhibitions and conferences.
What were your early lessons as an entrepreneur?
When I started doing events, I was volunteering and, therefore, not getting paid. There is nothing wrong with that for starters, though. But I soon realized that to build a sustainable business, you have to go from free to fee. You have to make your stand known especially to those who have been used to getting free services from you. Even if you were going to provide your service at a discount, they must reward you for your labour.
One other thing I didn’t learn early was to expand my horizon. For the event business, we sometimes rely on people we know for businesses or referrals. It is important to seek other ways of getting clients, and form collaborations where possible with others in a similar type of business.
Your book is about how to overcome adversity. Give us a quick rundown of practical steps.
One, do not be in denial when you are hit by a setback. In the first chapter of my book, I started with the fact that we need to realize that change is a given but the way we react to change is an option we have to take. It is, therefore, important that we do not be in denial when adversity happens, but we must seek to understand and accept the reality at the time, and then go on to make that adversity work for us.
Two, your mental well-being should be taken care of in times of adversity. Please do not keep silent, ask for help, and don’t go through the journey alone. It is easy to slip into depression and I have seen this happen to many people. Hold on to your faith and find like-minded people or those who are strong in faith to join theirs with yours.
Three, maintain a positive attitude. Don’t give in to failure so easily because what has happened to you does not define you. As Zig Ziglar said, ”It is your attitude rather than your aptitude that will determine your altitude.”
A period of adversity is not the time to withdraw and keep to yourself. Get yourself busy. Learn new skills, volunteer in organizations or your community, have somebody you are accountable to, but more importantly, seek new adventures within the adversity. Whatever the case may be, don’t lose the lessons you have learned from that experience.
Based on your experience, what is the big difference in the life of a woman living in Nigeria compared to her counterpart in the UK?
I must say there is a disparity between living life as a woman in the UK and living life as a woman in Nigeria. For instance,
there are opportunities available in the UK, such as education loans are available. You can also access free training and courses if you so desire. I’m aware that those opportunities are not available in Nigeria, but I have seen, and I know many women who live in Nigeria and have made the best use of what is available. It all boils down to an insatiable desire and a dogged determination not to give up.
How would you counsel a young girl aspiring to greatness and a fulfilled life?
First, identify what you’re passionate about and begin to develop the skills you need to be the best in those things. Then focus. Too many distractions around and things that do not add value. So you mustn’t lose sight of where you’re going. There is time for everything, and this is the time to build a solid foundation. You should also cultivate habits that will help you succeed. Be a reader. Read and read. Readers are leaders. Don’t be lured into materialism thereby wanting to do anything and everything just to follow the trends and keep up with the Joneses. Be unique in your individuality and be careful of the association you keep.
Work hard and pray always. Once you get it right now, you won’t have to struggle in the future.
What do you think of the future for women?
I saw a caption recently and I loved it—Women are no longer meant to sit still and look pretty – they are meant to lead empires. That is the now woman who is paving the way for the future woman. The narratives are changing. Women are showing up more and more at the forefront and I believe it’s a good thing because like I said before, women have the natural ability to multiply and also nurture well. The now woman continues to be strong, vibrant, multiskilled, not just beautiful but also brainy. I see the future woman rebuilding the economy of nations, putting structures that work in place, taking territories. I see the future strong women being backed up and supported by an equally strong man who is not intimidated by her success.