For Emonena Akwara, a lawyer and author, life was smooth and easy. She looked forward to what was ahead of her with an aspiration just like any other 23-year-old. But just like the bolt out of the blues, the unexpected happened. She had a stroke that left her unable to walk or move her body.
While she was trying to find her balance, fate dealt her another blow. Her mother developed a kidney disease and eventually died. In all of these challenges, she didn’t cave in or allow depression to take over. Instead, she rolled up her sleeves and fought to regain her cognitive skills after battling a stroke for eight years. Today, Emonena is a stroke survivor/advocate and founder of My Ability In Disability (M.A.I.D) Foundation and has become inspirational to those who are challenged by this ailment.
In this interview, she tells of how she draws strength from seeing the impact of sharing her story with people as well as embracing the mindset of living life as positively as she can, despite all the curveballs providence has thrown at her.
You had a stroke eight years ago. Can you recall what led to this?
On November 27, 2015, my life took an unexpected turn. I had a stroke that left me unable to walk or move my body. It was as if I was trapped within my own form. The doctors couldn’t definitively identify the exact trigger of the stroke, as it could have been attributed to the pre-existing condition of a leaky heart valve or perhaps the impact of stress, despite my blood pressure and cholesterol being within normal ranges.
The experience was a stark reminder of the unpredictability of life’s challenges and the need for resilience in the face of adversity.
And how old were you then?
I was only 23 years old
For eight years that you have battled this, did you feel like, “Why you”?
There’s a saying that really stuck with me over time, “Why not you?” It’s like the answer to that nagging question of “Why me?” That alone is a powerful mindset to adopt. Whenever I think about the stroke and the leaky heart valve, I see them as just a part of life’s journey. Sure, they slowed me down for a bit, but I faced them head-on and I am through with that phase, now.
And while I was getting back on my feet, life threw another curveball at me. My mother had chronic kidney disease and eventually passed away. But even in the midst of that, I didn’t ask myself “Why me?” I saw it as another chapter in my life story – a part of the journey that I had to navigate.
Were you depressed about all of these challenges?
I’ll be honest with you, not once did I let depression take over. Instead, I rolled up my sleeves and fought to regain my cognitive skills, my motor skills – basically, my whole self – all the while dealing with the pain of losing my mother. Because giving up isn’t on my list of options. Life handed me a mix of challenges, and I have met each one head-on. That whole “why not you” attitude has kept me going. So, when you think about it, those tough times, they’re just chapters in my life’s story, not roadblocks. And I’m not about to give up. That’s not who I am.
What were your survival strategies and what kept you going amid these challenges?
Two things have been my pillars of strength in this journey. First, I draw strength from the fact that I inspire people with my story. When I share my story and see the impact it has on others, it’s like a fuel that keeps me going. I’ve embraced the mindset of living my life as positively as I can, and that in itself becomes a message of encouragement to those around me.
Secondly, through my Foundation, I’m able to extend a helping hand to stroke survivors, their families, and even their caregivers. These two things are what give my life purpose and meaning.
It’s not just about supporting the survivors themselves. It’s about acknowledging the entire network that’s affected by stroke. Caretakers play an incredibly crucial role, and sometimes their own well-being can take a back seat. I’ve witnessed firsthand the toll it can take on caretakers, sometimes resulting in their own health issues or even passing away before the stroke survivors. Living my life positively, inspiring others, and supporting those who are navigating the challenges of stroke are what keep me motivated. Through my own experiences, I’ve learned that our stories have the power to bring people together, to uplift them, and to create a community of strength and resilience. It’s not just about surviving; it’s about thriving together.
You were single when you had it. Did you think that the illness had robbed you of the chances of being coupled?
You know, there was a point where I thought my experiences had robbed me of the chance to find a partner, to be in a relationship. It’s a feeling that I carried for a little while, but it didn’t last long. I came to a realisation that shifted my perspective entirely. I began living with a clear sense of purpose, channelling my energy into making the world a better place through my work. My mindset transformed into something incredibly empowering – I started believing that the right person for me would come into my life. And when he did, he wouldn’t just fall for me; he would fall for the passion and drive that fuels my mission.
I understand that you are married now. Can you give me a sense of your current state of mind, emotionally?
I’m truly grateful and at peace with where life has led me. The man I married, David Akwara, is nothing short of the answer to my prayers. It’s as if all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place perfectly. He loves and understands me in a way I never thought possible. He brings a sense of calm and support that resonates deeply with me and shares the same values with me. He not only sees the journey I’m on but also wholeheartedly embraces it. His support is unwavering and genuine, and it’s rooted in a deep appreciation for the passion and determination that drive my mission. It’s like he recognizes that my purpose is an extension of who I am, and he’s there to stand beside me every step of the way.
The relationship we share is a testament to the idea that the right person for me would come into my life. David didn’t just fall for me; he fell for the fire within me, the determination that fuels my purpose. He embodies the very qualities I envisioned in a partner – love, understanding and a shared commitment to making a positive impact on the world.
How did you meet him?
In 2021, we crossed paths at a pop-up store on Victoria Island in Lagos. My initial reason for being there was to support my friend Efe, who was selling Banana Bread. During my time there, I noticed my childhood friend Tutu and her husband Tobi. After some chatting, when I was ready to leave, Tutu kindly offered to give me a ride, and I agreed. As it turned out, David, who happened to be Tobi’s cousin, was seated in the back with me. Our conversation eventually led to the topic of death, where I shared my perspective on not dwelling on sadness for too long due to being an orphan. This viewpoint caught David’s attention, especially since he had lost his father a year prior and was still grappling with the loss. He expressed his desire to be friends, despite my initial lack of attention. He persisted for over a month, and now we find ourselves happily married.
Did his proposal come to you as a surprise?
It wasn’t exactly a surprise proposal. He came to me and said he wanted a long-term relationship. Both of us were on the same page. David, a Nigerian filmmaker, is known for his documentary film “THE RISE: A Journey to Africa’s Financial Independence,” Similarly, I’m a stroke advocate and the founder of the M.A.I.D Foundation. Our shared desire to make a positive impact in Africa, along with our aligned values and dreams, brought us close. One day, David simply said, “Let’s do this, call your family,” and that marked the beginning of our journey to marriage.
Given your experience, what would you tell people who suffer from this ailment?
Absolutely, patience is key – both with ourselves and with those around us. It’s a gentle reminder that everything will eventually fall into place. If you think about a baby’s growth, it’s a beautiful analogy. When a child is born, you know that they will eventually learn to sit, walk, talk, and grow in countless ways. While you might not have the exact timeline, you have faith that these milestones will be achieved.
In a similar vein, those of us who’ve experienced strokes are on a journey of healing and progress. We are like parents nurturing our own bodies. Just like a mother cares for her baby, we must safeguard and tend to our bodies with that same devotion. It’s a process that requires time and care. There might be setbacks or unexpected challenges along the way, but by being patient and nurturing, we can help our bodies recover and regain strength. It’s about trusting that with each step, whether visible or not, progress is happening. So, let’s be patient with ourselves. Let’s be the guardians of our bodies, offering them the care and attention they need. And just like the baby who eventually learns to sit, walk, and talk, we too will see our progress and growth. It might not happen on a specific schedule, but it will happen – all in its own time.