Tell us about yourself?
I migrated from Nigeria about two decades ago with my family; settled in the UK. In the UK, I started as a student, did my first degree, did my Masters degree; raised two children, went through so much but I am really glad that after everything, I manage my own business in the UK at the moment.
Why did you relocate from Nigeria to the UK?
At a point in time, life was becoming tough, the government policies affected what I was doing because, then, I was running my business. I would go to the UK to get goods but by the time you come back, the policy would change – exchange rate and everything. You get your goods at a cost you can no longer sell them. Telecommunication was difficult. We did not have all the GSM we have now, so, the head of the family was always abroad; most of the time and when he was away, he could not communicate with me and the children. And at a point in time it was becoming very tough. The crisis all the time, especially NEPA.The children were going through so many challenges and then you think, ‘Ok, let’s relocate, let’s go abroad so that we could be closer to the head of the home; he is closer to the family and the children will have a better life and then for me to get more education.’
For two decades now, you have been in the UK. At the point, you arrived in the UK what cultural shock did you experience?
It’s a very big shock from what we see in the country to what we have over there. In the country, we have a family network. It’s your mother, your mother-in-law, cousins, friends, etc.
The first shock I got in the UK was when I wanted to go for a job interview and I wanted my neighbour to look after my three-year-old daughter; she asked me to pay her five pounds. I was shocked. It was a cultural shock because normally I will do it without hesitation and a fee. But the society is different from African society, where there is a network of people you can approach; we can lend a hand but, you have to pay. Surviving here was extremely difficult because of the cultural practices that portrayed a different environment and beliefs. My 13-year-old daughter took her baby sister to school and the impact was truly challenging, as I was told outrightly that she is not a caregiver.
She was already raised to take care of her sister in Nigeria but was not allowed. Most children are taken into care, once they are reported. I had to battle legally, our Nigerian parents raised their children, the only way they know and the foreign culture equally raised them; there is the conflicting value that has psychological effects, and you have to comply with the law of the land. Gradually, your values are eroded and you lose them. It is painful because what you teach your children at home is different from what the environment teaches them. Your child says something, they get into trouble, because it is seen as abuse and most times are taken into care. Once a child is taken into care, you may lose the child for life because they regard you as unfit parents. When a child is taken into care, at 18, the government is no longer responsible for them. The child becomes responsible for her upkeep.
Was there a time you felt like returning home?
Yes. I tell you, the first time I felt like returning was less than three months into the UK because what you expect is not what you see.
Tell us more about your new book, “Searching Greener Pastures”, which talks about the trajectory of what most immigrants face in the UK.
I wrote this book at a point in my life when I was really down. I went in as a student, complied with all the rules but you got to a stage when you get to the end of your visa, you want to renew but you can’t renew. And you find yourself at that point in time where they tell you, you can’t renew.